Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
