my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
