and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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