I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
