I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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