Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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