I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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