Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
