Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
