Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
