I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
