Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think my fart just growled at me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
