he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
