Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
