I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
