New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
