Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
