I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
