she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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