So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
