Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
