Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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