hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
