So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
