Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
