I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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