Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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