I wish you could order shots online.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
