Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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