So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
