butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
