i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
