she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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