Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
