Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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