I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
