Is it normal to miss your booty call?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
