I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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