just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
