i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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