That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
