i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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