i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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