your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
