When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
