My friends, they love my intelligence
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
