Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
