Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
