somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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