This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
