i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize