I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
