Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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