You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
